Something's up with my P-nut

Well, I guess I've been ignoring it for a while.

Or maybe I've just been hoping this is something she'd outgrow.  

P struggles in some situations.  While watching her in gymnastics last weekend it occurred to me.  Her class is full of 3 and 4 year old's, my sweet 5 year old couldn't focus like the other, younger kids. 

Her younger brother was standing in line and paying attention, and she was spinning in circles. Jumping. Swinging her limbs. Putting her hands on the mat and kicking her feet up and around.  She's in the younger class to "learn the ropes" at the gym, and she's clearly the least attentive of all the participants.  Up until now I kept telling myself that she's young, and young kids aren't know for sustaining attention.

After calming down and collecting myself, I discussed this with my husband. To death.   We talked about what to do.  When we should address it.  If we should.  Is there even anything to be addressed.

My head filled with more questions than Google had answers.  I'm sure online search is the absolute worst thing to do in this situation, but I couldn't help it.  The more articles and websites I read, the clearer one message became.  Ask her teachers.  They see her with her peers every day.  They will have valuable insight. 

I emailed asking if she had any troubles paying attention and staying seated when expected to do so.  The answer was a resounding yes.  Parenthood is such a strange journey sometimes.  It's an odd thing to feel both relieved and somewhat heart-broken simultaneously.   Relief in the most selfish way possibe.  Relief in knowing this isn't just another anxiety fueled hypochondriac moment on my part.  Heart broken for her.  Heart broken when thinking about what this may mean for her.  Kids can be so mean.  Girls in particular.  I guess I'm just wrapping my head around the idea that her "normal".  Her perfectly beautiful, every-piece-in-it's-perfect-place normal may lead her down a path fraught with trials.

Now though, I've decided to get over myself a bit and seek answers.

Why can't she be still when asked?

Is this an impulse control issue, or are we parenting ineffectively?

Why does she chew on things incessantly?
Why does she rub her face on my leg like she's a cat?

Why does she chew on things? Especially when she's feeling anxious?
Why won't she speak in front of strangers?

Why does she struggle SO much with changes in routine?

Is this affecting her socially? 

Is she just testing limits with authority figures?

Could this be A.D.D.?

Could this be A.D.H.D.?

What does the difference between the two look like?

What else could this be?

Is this a sensory processing disorder?

Is she bored during circle time?

Will our insurance company require an official diagnosis before we can get treatment?

Will she need treatment?

Could this be a sensory processing issue?

Could this be an anxiety disorder?

Can she clearly express to us what is going on?

Will we have medications shoved in our faces?
How will this affect her moving forward?

How will this affect her transition to public school in the fall?

What if she gets a teacher that won't work with what's best for her?

What resources are available to us in our community?

This list boils down to just one thing for me right now: What are we doing wrong?

I'm meeting with her pediatrician next week to discuss my concerns.

Now more than ever, this one thing is clear.  We love her.  We love her brother.  So very very very much.  We love her if she's a mainstream cheerleader in the making.  We love her if she's an artist dancing to the beat of her own drum.  We love her if she's a million different things in between.